Carolina Riot

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 Racoon Rocket

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shrub
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Number of posts : 692
Age : 47
Location : Upstate, SC
Registration date : 2007-03-09

PostSubject: Racoon Rocket   Wed May 21, 2008 2:54 am

In rural Carbon County, Pennsylvania, a group of men were drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim. Despite an estimated 35 shots fired by the group, the animal escaped into a 3' diameter drainage pipe 100 feet away from Mr. Michaels' deck.

Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels emptied the entire five-gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to light it again, to no avail.

Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match. The subsequent rapidly-expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come, though at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to witness Joseph McFadden, 31.

Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported, "followed by a loud thud." Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries.

"It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."
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Milkshake
Udderly Ridiculous
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Number of posts : 1007
Age : 55
Location : chesnee sc
Registration date : 2007-05-14

PostSubject: Re: Racoon Rocket   Wed May 21, 2008 4:12 pm

Is this a new recruit or what? He sounds like our type of guy, all action with zero intelect.

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My pastures are the greenest cause I know how to spread the manure, oh yea!!!
"You wanna go to the barn and lick my salt block?"
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Puddin
Gingers are People Too...
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Number of posts : 264
Age : 29
Location : .864.
Registration date : 2007-03-24

PostSubject: Re: Racoon Rocket   Thu May 22, 2008 4:05 pm

wow... just wow
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